The Cardinal Question

WHY?

Well, there are many answers to that question. Let’s start with probably the most obvious one. I wasn’t sure is Sociology and Psychology the thing I wanted to do. My original plan was to do a pure Psychology degree. To become a marine psychologist. (What can I say … I have a big imagination). However, I was 25 points short, thus I had to pick between level seven Biotechnology in IT Tallaght, or Bachelor of Arts in Maynooth – my dream University. I chose the latter. But honestly, the only reason I applied for Biotech in the first place, was simply because of the low points.

After my Leaving Cert I was terrified. I was 100% certain that I would fail both Maths and Accounting. Till this day I have no idea why I passed, and getting honors in both subjects, in freaking higher level, was a miracle. I thank God for it everyday. But it doesn’t change the fact, that because I was so terrified of the results and believed that I will get no more than 200 points, I essentially f-up my future. Although I would’ve have to go to Arts anyway, in order to become the marine Psychologist, so it didn’t even really matter.

Okay, so I went to Arts. Everyone in my family said that it’s a bad choice. ‘It’s a course with no future.’ – they said.  And they were right. I mean for all you doing Arts – great! I’m sure you’ll succeed in life. But me, I need something with a clear goal. Which brings me to the second reason – I took a gap year to figure out what I want. I need to explore all my options. Since I know my points now I can apply to the courses that I actually want to do not only to those with the low points. And besides if after a year of thought, I will figure out that I want to do Arts, then I can always go back and do it.

BUT, there is always the ‘BUT’. I need to admit that this thought of ‘finding my way in life’ – as cliche as that sounds – would never even crossed my mind if not the transport costs. The thing is my family isn’t rich. And we’re at a moment in our life where every cent is important. Thus, having to pay over 35 euro per week for getting to the college was a little bit unrealistic. And before you even say it – I tried to get a job. But just imagine how hard it is for someone to get a job without any experience. Now add part time to this equation and you end up with – near impossible. The idea that I could find a job, save money for a year for transport and other fees, seemed (and still seems) to be the smartest thing I could have ever done. And for those of you that ask why didn’t we apply for the grand – well apparently we’re too rich for that!

So, this year is going to be the year where I get time to stand on my own two feet. This is going to be the year where I’m not going to be afraid to take risks and chances. If the Leaving Cert has thought me anything – it was to take chances, because if you don’t you end up in a shit hole. (apologies for the language).

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