Am I mean?


About three days ago I have received a news that ‘him’ had a dream about me. And if it is true it means that he thinks a lot about me. Which on the other hand means that he begins to really invest himself in talking with me.

But I’m not.

I mean don’t get me wrong I really like this guy. I think I have more in common with him then just about anyone on this planet. (from the people that I know). Which is scary. To say the least. It is something that I always wanted … I guess. It is something that I was always jealous of in all the cheesy romantic movies I saw.

But there is always this thought in my head … because we live so far away from each other … that we will never meat. Not to mention the fear of running out of things to say. It’s just that whenever he says something nice to me, this could be a compliment (which I hate anyway) or even a simple agreement when we disagree on something (which I don’t always like) a smile appears on my face – automatically. I feel happy when I talk with him. As least when we have something to talk about.

And then comes those times like yesterday – when I literally did not want to talk to him. NO!. It’s not that I didn’t … I was too lazy to. But he is sweet. He is not a joker. Thus I don’t think he would be able to handle the truth sometimes … thus I lie. But even if I lie .. I see that he’s upset.

Or maybe it’s just the way I see it. And even though I do not have this feeling that he isn’t real anymore .. sometimes it comes back. He did say that he thinks talking through Skype would be a good idea yet when I ask him for a picture of something he refuses.

And it’s hard.

And now to flip the tables around a little. I have literally nothing in common with my co-worker. In fact he thinks the earth is flat … which I have no comment for bar STUPID!

Anyway – this isn’t a roast.

With him I work half of my shifts. And I feel like he likes me … in a stalker-ish way but I think he does. Which trust me is not a compliment.

And I haven’t been thinking about him that much … at least positively. Yet about him … I had a dream.

Now, tell me is my subconscious mean ? Because I dream about the wrong guy? Am I starting to like him even though he drinks distilled water ? Because I know 100%, that I don’t like him.

*Disclaimer: I didn’t dream well about the work colleague.*

And what I want at this moment and time the most ? A dream about ‘him’.


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