The ‘T’ word.

It can be hard. I know. But in the end it’s always the best thing you could have ever done.

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I don’t know how many times I referenced this topics in my letters to strangers. Hell, I even dedicated a whole letter for it. And now, I’m writing this post.

Because in all honestly my friends, ‘Truth’ will set you free.

Okay, Okay, you can stop laughing now.

The thing is that it’s true.

Yesterday for example, I behaved like a total dick. I cancelled on a guy, that I had a ‘date’ with, about four hours before it. And what’s worse I lied.

It was a dick move. I know. I’m sorry. I panicked. Did that never happen to you?

The thing is tho, that as my consciousness was eating me alive,  I have gathered few opinions of what should I do. Of course, in that hoard were good and bad ones, from my brother, mother and friend. Plus my self thought. Now my gut was yelling at me, “Kamila, you were an asshole and you need to apologise.” And that made so much sens. It was like the right thing to do.

But then on the other hand you have my loving, caring and not-so-intelligent-as-it-turns-out family. Who advised me to stay quiet because I will only make it worse. And their reasoning was, “Well, you will hurt him even more.”, “Besides it’s not like he’s your best friend, you only know the guy for a few weeks.”, “You should apologise but tell him that I made you stay at home.” (Which by the way would be another lie, if you didn’t get it.)

And finally you have the guy who hates dishonesty. And man, do I need him in my life. Because overcoming two of your closest people with your shaky ‘I should do the right thing’ on your own is like trying to walk through the ocean. But HIM, well without him let me just say I would be eaten by now.

So, as he advised me, and as I thought myself would be the right thing to do – I told the truth. The entire truth. Including the fact that I panicked because I was worried that he liked me. And because I told my share, he told his. And my concerns were confirmed. He did like me. And I mean fancy. Had a crush on. Blah blah blah.

So in the end if I wouldn’t have said the truth I would’ve never found out that. As well as that I found out that if potential relationship was out, he was out.

And to be honest that didn’t even bother me that much. Because, I learned, once again might I mention, that truth is the only thing you can count on in this world. And if that fails, then you need to just say it out loud – and not lie to yourself about it.

 

Maybe, I’m making up excuses for my actions now, but I just wanted to let you know that people – all over the world do stupid and wrong things. Doesn’t change the fact that what I have done was just pure mean. But it was a mistake. And I fixed it – whatever the outcome. But as a human being I am entitled to mistakes. Because that’s the only way we learn.

And since I managed to fix this one, I want to try to fix another. Natalka.

 

 

 

Picture: Not mine borrowed from google. Oh, man, did I just admit to stealing?

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