She didn’t even hear him. Suddenly he thrust her by the arm, his dirty nails digging deep into her flesh. When he threw her into the back of the van she hit her head against the wall. Pain diminishing her fear for just a second. The drive wasn’t long, but she didn’t remember anything from it. Few turns right. Was it even right? Or was her head spinning so much?
The screech of the breaks were like the gun firing to start the race. Her heart would’ve definitely won. All she could think about was her mommy. She wanted her so badly now. More than ever before. She wanted to smell her sweet, glorious vanilla scent. She wanted to feel her cashmere hands. She wanted to hear her delicate soothing voice. A voice that was like a lullaby every evening.
He yanked the doors open and looked at her meek, fragile body. She couldn’t see his face because the light was behind him. But she was glad. She was sure that she wasn’t going to get out of there alive.
He pulled her by the ankle, but when she tried to get away he pulled harder. And harder. Until all that was left, were the tear drops and nail scratches on the cold white painted metal.
She wanted to scream. To scream louder than a wolf at night, howling. But she wasn’t able to.
She gave up.
He carried her like a bag of potatoes up the stairs and heaved her like a bag of dirty laundry onto a broken, spring matterace.
Her beautiful blond plats were now simply a gathering of hay knotted together. Her snow white shirt became the canvas for the dirty shame marks and the grease off his forehead. The new school skirt – checkered – that used to hang just above the knee, now was half torn and sprawled all over her tummy, displaying her innocence to the world.
And as she heard the hard and loud noise of the buckle and then the zipper of his denim trousers, she stopped shaking.
She was numb.
And as he touched her, tears were all that she was able to give. Soon she was just a lifeless human vessel, unfortunately breathing.
The image of her mother has left her in the van. Now all she was able to see were angels. Beautiful creatures that flew all around her. They were white like ghosts and drifting through the air like fathers. They called her.
The soft echoing sound of her name made her want to drift away. Away with the angels. With the most beautiful creatures she has ever seen. But who would want her now? She was no longer the unopened package with jewelry. She was the garbage bin. Used, dirty and shameful.
When he stopped, the pain began flowing in. Like waves at the beach. A tsunami to be exact. But she new what she had to do now.
Slowly opened her eyes, and looked around. There it was just a few feet away. The angels did love her after all. Even when she was broken. Even when her heart was shattered.
She inched her limp body over to the stool just to her left.
Grabbed the knife and without hesitation cut both wrist as if it was butter.