Did you ever get angry at someone?

Did you forgive them?

I wrote a letter to a stranger one day about this topic. And strangely enough I feel like it was dedicated towards myself.

Yesterday I had a fight with my dad. It’s all good now, I said sorry (although in my opinion it wasn’t my fault). But that’s now why I said sorry. I apologized because I made my dad feel bad. And everyone makes mistakes. And some make a lot of them. But if they’re forgieveable we should do it.

(I gave him a cookie) 😌

The thing is though sometimes we don’t see that. Our anger clouds our good and we forget about love. About the fact that a simple ‘sorry’ could make it all better. Not only now. But for the future too.

And in those times I recommend you to take space. You have no idea what space, solitary, silence and time can do.


That’s becsuse you get time to think and when you stop being angry you start thinking about yourself. And see your flaws. And how they could’ve affected the other person.

Of course it can’t always be done. But, it most definetly, in most cases, can.

So the next time, if you can’t forgive straight away, step away take time and then you will find it in yourself.


Boy talk.

Just don’t say I didn’t warn you this wasn’t comming.

Okay so in shortcut version : I went out with my brother and his friends, I met another one of his friends, his smart, handsome and funny sooooo KAMILA LIKES.

GET IT ? Great!

Now time forward a week and he texted me asking do I wanna join him and his friends to a bar.

Now, as the casual girl that I am .. And I totally don’t have a crush on him ……… I said “yeah sure I might”

And then I started freaking out, panicking and (my favourite) overthinking !

-Yeah totally no crush at all!

Okay, maybe a tiny bit.

Okay, maybe like a normal one, it’ll pass.

Fine ughhh I have a huge crush on this guy !!!

-Knew it !

And now all I am thinking about is what are we going to talk about. What should I wear. How should I great him ? Hug/no hug? Should I buy him a drink ? How will I buy myself a drink? What if I am awkward and turn out to be a total looser? How will I say goodbye? Will he walk me to the bus stop? If yes will I be cold and he will hug me ? Will we laugh? Will we connect? Does he even like me? What if he doesn’t even like me ? What if I am making this whole huge thing out of nothing. I mean it’s not a date for sure. But is it just a hang out? What if he wants to drug and abuse me? Nahhh he’s not like that. But what if he just wants to be friends ? Am I okay with that? Yes! Good! Wait! What if he doesn’t even want to be friends and was just being nice? OMG what have I got myself into?!?!?!?!?

You know the casual.

And the thing is its not like any other guy in my life.

This one I met. In REALITY. And we talked about something else than school and work. And most importantly I like him for his personality. I mean he definetly is very far from ugly. But personality is Key.

Sooooo yeahhh rant over. Thanks for listening. I think this easyness will last for another two minutes. But that’s okay I’ll handle it .. There are worse things in the world.


Can I just say that I HATE SAYING NO!

Especially when it comes to the situations when the timing sucks.

Okay so let me put this in a perspective for you. Imagine you had a friend and because things kept coming up you had to continuously reschedule the date for a catch-up b-day celebration.  And so finally you get the time off work, it’s the weekend and you make plans.

Great right?!

Welllll …. imagine that you are totally antisocial. And just about a week ago you made two friends.

Yeah, shocker, I know!!

Anyways, IMAGINE that just two nights before that catch-up friend A texts and asks you do you want to go away with her and her friends to another city for the weekend.


I was so devastated. And not because I didn’t want to go but because I couldn’t. One because of the friend and two because of work. And it sucks when you have to say no. What’s even more frustrating that she actually thought of me and wanted me to go. And what I’m afraid of is that because I said no this one time she will never ask me again. Is that even a rational fear?

Now imagine something even worse.

Imagine that one of those friends you made was a guy. And you liked him LIKED HIM!!!

And the next night one of his friend’s texts you asking do you wanna join them in a bar. And O MY DUDE DO YOU WANNA. LIKE YOU REALLY REALLY REALLY WANNA!!!

But it’s half nine. By the time you would get there it would be 11. So there really isn’t much point. So, you need to say no. AGAIN.

And the loss and the bittersweet feeling combined with anger gives you the biggest cringe in the freaking world.

SO ….. I want to die now.

Maybe you don’t get it. But its those situations I hate. And what more I hate myself for them because I essentially put myself in this position. Because I didn’t have to say yes to that job. I didn’t have to ask my friend out. BUT I DID.

And as someone very smart6.1 once said EVERY CHOICE HAS CONSEQUENCES! 

So this picture is just because I like it and I took it sooooo yeahhhh 🙂

Addicted to good.

This will sound very weird .. But .. I HAVE A PROBLEM.

Don’t worry it’s not drugs. Or alcohol. Or any other substance that you might abuse the use of in order to manipulate your fragile brain cells that you are indeed perfectly happy when in reality you are just the cigarette that is slowly burning away.

I am addicted to good. And not necessarily to doing good -because I do that way too little. But to BEING good. Especially a good child.

Okay so you know that time you hid behind the house with your brother and tried your first cigarette? Welllllll that was me. And the fact that I didn’t tell my parents about it for a whole two years was crushing me. But what I value even more than being a good child is being a good sister. So yeahhh. But that’s not the point.

The point is that I can go very little time without telling my parents something. And if I forget to tell them and then rememebr, the guilt is about the size of a black whole(RIP Stephen Hawking). So I immediately text them, call them etc.

Usually they don’t care much.


There comes a day where yours truly becomes an adult. And for the very first time makes an adult decision WITHOUT asking her parents. Thus of course I was shitting my pants.

-What did you decide?

To go to Norway for 4 days.


Don’t laugh !!

This was a very stressful decision for me. Esapecially that I didn’t regard my parents opinion what’s so ever. I just decided it with my friend and bought the tickets.

Of course about 5 seconds after I called my mum we had a fight then we said, ‘I love you’ and all was good.

The moral of the story ? Hmmm tell your parents everything before you shit your pants 👍


It’s beautiful.

It’s fragile yet strong.

It never fears.

It doesn’t need anyone.

It’s delicate yet sharp.

It doesn’t hide the bad one and doesn’t shelter the good one.

It sings during summer and in winter it hides in between the dimonds.

Water is its friend and the mountains its companion.

It ALWAYS fits in.

It could win every dance contest with its moves but never shows off.

It is controlled by its loving mother.

It is what I want to be.


Awkward Encounters 101.

You know those situations where you’re walking in a corridor and suddenly at the end of it you see the ‘cool’ people. Potentially a guy that you could have liked and the pretty and smart girls?

Well that’s what I see when I remind myself of secondary (high school).

But college is different. However! That does not make things any less awkward.

You see I am lucky enough (or unlucky – however you want to phrase it) to be in a course with people that actually like each other. There is about 70 of us and everyone is everyone’s best friend. Except for 4 of us.

But that’s not the point. The point is that when I walk down the corridor I actually have to make eye contact with those people or else I will be the rude one. And TRUST ME YOU DON’T WANT TO BE THE RUDE ONE!!! Just because of the simple reason that college incorporates a LOT of group work.

SOOOOOO when I was in secondary looking away was an option. Now when I walk past someone I try to smile but it simply DOES NOT WORK!

Consequences : they say hi (including my name which usually makes me feel even worse because 90% of the time I don’t remember theirs) and I reply in a humming-bird voice.

I mean seriously it could break the glass its so high ….