Search up “Rape me by Nirvana” and listen to it while you think what this will be about. I did. And now I cannot stop laughing.
How’s it going ?
You know I always wonder what will something be like before I do it. And then I create this whole vivid image of my expectations which (usually) are very high. And then BOOM! My dream crashes as I live through “the first time”.
Sooo… Did you ever go on a first date? And is every “first date” first? And is it always soo fudging awkward???
Okay, look, I get it, we barely new each other and it was loud(which sometimes helped the situation) but overall I don’t think it went that great.
And, my dear firends, it was beacuse we are too different.
I mean yes we like the same movies … but that’s about it. He likes millitary stuff and I don’t. The closest to that is airsoft and I’m not even interested in that, that much.
And that’s just the start. Then we have the fact that he doesn’t listen to music. He said that he listens to one song over and over until he finds something new. And I’m the person that listens to different songs. The person that always tries to search for new music. The person who lives by music. And he plays an instrument. Cool right?
Get ready kids because I’m gonna change into a 100% judgmental bitch.
He plays the bag pipes. THE BAG PIEPES!!!!
Can someone please shoot me? I was dreaming of a boyfriend who could play the guitar. Or if not then who could sing. Or if not who loved music. Or if not who would love the way I love music. And would love my terrible singing and playing the guitar. Not a bag pipe player. However, orignial it is.
And then you have the news. He adores the news. I mean listens and watches it religiously. And I’m just there like… “Eew.” (If you don’t know the reason for it I wrote a post about it called Stupid=Happy.)
Not to mention that he has a red car. RED!!! I mean sure it’s just a car. But Mr. Gentelman has nothing better, yet a silver shitty car has something more umm how would I call it ? Masculinity? About it. Is that even a word? .. It is now!
And while we’re on the topic of masculinity. One of the top requirements of me future boyfriend is the ability of killing a spider. And he is afraid of them…
And it’s not like I am judging him beacuse of that. I am just finding it very difficult to imagine, him saving me from a spider in the future.
Or the fact that he doesn’t like horrors. He says that he’s scared but mostly he “just doesn’t find them interesting”. And in my world it’s the complete opposite. I mean yeah, I am scared. But it doesn’t stop me from enjoying them – especially if to the equation you add a cute boy holding my sweaty hand 😍.
Then when I finally got the courage to ask the most important question, “What is your biggest dream?” he said to have a house. And that’s cool. I guess. I’m not judgmental of dreams beacsue their like your little private pearls of wonder that you’re trying to catch when you get the chance. I mean one of my dreams is to have stairs in a house for God’s sake. But-
-Kamila stop with this buts shit now!! You essentially moan about a great guy. Its like your looking for a hole in a whole. Get your shit together and go out with him again!
But it wasn’t like I was perfect either.
I kept on repeating “cool” and “yeah” too. Although, I think that I gave a little more emotion into them. But I felt like I had nothing to offer to him. It was just him telling me about the things that I hadn’t had a chance to experience yet. And I was just like, “Yeah that sounds great!”.
So why the fudge would he be interested in me??? Its clear that we didn’t match! So tinder was wrong!
Oh, yeah did I mention that I met him on Tinder? …
And then the saying goodbye.
We said goodbye. We hugged. He hugged hard .. (Personal space bubble – just saying). And then he really wanted to meet again. Like really and I was nice and said that I would like that too. And then after his thorough interview when I’m next available I said goodbye and began walking away …
Untill he grabbed me and gave me another sidewards hug. And friends let me just tell you … Bad memories came to the surface.
And then I walked away smiling like the idiot that I am. And no. Not because I liked him but because of the crynginess.
Please say that you understand?